Sunset in Tamarindo, Costa Rica. Returning in two weeks. A reminder to myself that there is a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Very nice if it comes in the form of a sunset after a day of surfing.
Gap sweater, Gap men’s button-up, Current-Elliot camo denim, Alice and Olivia bright pink (thus happy making; I think it’s been scientifically proven) heels.
subtitled: Portrait of the faux-fashionista as an I-phone carrying Instagramer (Instagramista?)
Initial attempt. Thoughts: “I don’t understand. What are my pants doing. Why are they scrunchy. How is my scarf falling off my neck? It’s supposed to detract from lack of makeup except for too much bronzer. Hmm. Maybe I should brush my hair. Do I even own a brush?”
Attempt 2 (or 5..). Thoughts: “I look perfectly natural, as if I had my phone in hand, casually walked by a mirror, and just turned and took a quick snap. No effort at all. My legs are pigeon toed in as far as possible without looking like I have serious ankle issues, which creates perfect skinny leg illusion (am aware legs are not large, but they do have muscles; muscles are pretty cool). Head is cocked to the side, arm is on hip, scarf is draped right, I think I finally have a winner. Still need to do something about my face. Maybe I should buy a brush?”
“No…this is why the internet was invented. Purely so an app could be made that makes you look good no matter what you look like in person! Throw some filters on it.”
Final production. Thoughts: “By no means a work of art, but effectively makes my face blurry enough that you can’t really tell if there are dark circles under my eyes, or if it’s the lighting. Blurs my hair enough so I never have to buy a brush (score), and makes everything look even more natural and uncontrived!”
One of the memes currently circulating encapsulated this process perfectly. “Oh, you’re a model, are you? Who’s your agent- Instagram?”. I laugh because I am one of many who will apply filter after filter, until I’m like a supermodel! In my own eyes, anyways. To everyone else it may just be a blurry picture, but to me it’s a casual, effervescent snapshot. That took 30 minutes to perfect/make worse than before.
Scarf- Forever 21 (has held up awesomely) Shirt- Gap white button up Belt- Trusty old camo belt, which I currently cannot find, makes me slightly sad, probably in a pair of pants somewhere, as is not in belt box or on belt hanger. Jeans/Pants- Current/Elliott skinny cargo in Army (sold out everywhere I looked). Boots- Rag and Bone Newbury (thus the odd scrunch- they have the fold-over top). Jewelry- my usual combo of Bing Bang bracelets and cuffs, Jennifer Meyer delicate rings, Cartier ring and bracelet, delicate silver ring from Mexico I found when my parents gave me a box of things after they sold childhood home (so I am assuming they got it for me a very long time ago, or I attached sentimental value arbitrarily to a random object), and Hermes watch.
On one of our transects in South Africa, things were going swimmingly well. Actually, my ranger (we had to have them, as they knew the lay of the land, and how to deal with the animals- for the most part) had refused to get into a canoe earlier. To cross a small lake. There are hippos in the park. Hippos are the only animal I was wary of encountering. Falling asleep to their calls each night was more creepy than hearing a hyena whooping outside of your tent. And seeing their eyes peeking out from the water was quite an other-worldly experience. Regardless, he was not chancing falling out and getting eaten. So we did this transect instead.
African elephants are different than Indian elephants, apparently. The ones you typically see at zoos and such are Indian. They are more docile, not as prone to outbursts. African elephants…entirely different story, at least in this park. Rangers are terrified of them. The moment Willkom (I will misspell his actual Zulu name, and he went by Willkom to the majority of people, so I’ll refer to him by that alias) refused to get in the canoe, I knew we’d run into a situation. We did.
We had received reports there might be elephants about, and they could be in groups as big as 20. You don’t want to walk into a valley of elephants that don’t want you there. As he tried to decide what was the best option (there was no way to backtrack, or do anything but go into the valley) I couldn’t get the Coolio song that has the part “As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death…” out of my head. Yes, in the midst of amazing nature, a tricky elephant encounter, adding to it the fact that I didn’t speak Zulu, nor did he speak English (although we were tight by the end… he sort of decided I was a lucky charm, as we were the only people that kept encountering animals that never even got faux-charged) I had “Gangsta’s Paradise” stuck in my head. In addition, I took a selfie while in an elephant situation. 
A ‘haven’t showered in 7 days, nor did I even bring makeup or other sundries’ selfie. And I took it looking at the elephants, thus they aren’t even in the picture with me. Worst selfie ever. Eventually, through compromise, (I wanted to go through the valley on the left, as the wind was blowing left, thus blowing our scent left, and he wanted to not go into the valley) we went into the valley. He almost shot three different small deer type animals that were hiding in bushes. For some reason I felt no fear, but I also had Coolio’s song in my head, so I think we were giving off relaxed, not here to hurt you vibes. We made it through unscathed, obviously, but towards the end, I did start to jump a little every time I heard a twig break, or any random noise. In the end, all’s well that ends well, and it was an amazing transect to do, but the lesson is- always get in the canoe. Just tackle the fear in front of your face first, or karma will get you. We managed to have other elephant and lion encounters, but the only animal that was ever moderately aggressive was the wildebeest. It did its wildebeest honking type noise at me. Twice. Least threatening of all the animals, only one that really wanted to go at it. It was hilarious, and a re-accuring thing. A rhino with its baby looked at us and said “whatever..I’ll keep walking if you do”. But a wildebeest went into, well, beast mode. Glorious, unexpected experiences. Love them so.
We really were tight by the end. Going through crazy experiences bonds you. Plus, I got the Zulu handshake. Based on anecdotal park stories, and their stories, it is traditionally exchanged with men that they hold in high esteem. While I was asked multiple times why I had no children, he finally decided I was a “Good girl. Strong girl. Good girl.” I’ll take that affirmation any-day. So, with no children, but not a high fear factor, and ability to keep up while hiking, I got transferred into the respect group. Gender politics play a role everywhere, but… I’ve been lucky enough that they’ve been surmountable in most cases. Happy memories.
Oh, and keeping with a style theme, I’m rocking a camo camelbak (took me forever to find the right color scheme camo- finally ordered it through the camelbak for army website), patagonia pants, and either a Rock Creek tshirt, or a $4.99 men’s army tactical shirt. Everything had to be neutral, tans, browns, greens, or you couldn’t go. You’d be too obvious and catch the animal’s eye. Thank goodness for Buffs. I gave both of mine to the camp manager, because she was a girl with curly/wavy/crazy hair like mine, and it was cool to leave a little part of my adventure there. My Nixon watch, too, which is my travel/adventure/has sand embedded in it, I love it more than anything piece of jewelry I own that’s glitzy and nice. Holds good memories whenever I check the time.
St. James shirt (not sure which version), Gap white bootcut denim, old Gap camo belt I purchased for $6.99 and love. St. James are my all time favorite shirt, I wear them year round, at the beach, layered in the winter to add an unexpected element to whatever I’m wearing, and when I wake up and have 5 minutes to get ready. J’adore!
Representing the Ally Coalition with my sweatshirt purchased from Refinery 29, Free People embellished denim vest, typical arm- Bing Bang bracelets, Nixon watch (which has sand permanently stuck in the side of the face), Cartier bracelet, small silver ring my dad back from Mexico when I was a little girl, random skull rings, Jennifer Meyer stackable rings.
Alice and Olivia stripe bell bottom pants (love how they remind me of Beetlejuice), Chaser Nirvana tee (which oddly goes with absolutely everything), Alexander Wang heels, Balecianga cross body bag, random jewelry.
In Hluhluwe Park, in South Africa, playing Lion King. T by Alexander Wang top, Free People pants
Genetic Denim, Forever 21 Blazer, Karate Kid Gap T-Shirt, 3.1 Phillip Lim bag, Alexander Wang boots, We are Owls scarf.
I fell shortly after this, as one can probably tell by the slight tilt to my board. However, I’m okay with having this photo/memory captured in the interim. Volcom bikini bottoms and rash-guard, Body Glove bathing suit top.
tigermarti 